Oh so wild nowadays....

                                                        Pimm's Cup
                                                     Muddle 2 sprigs mint, quarter strawberry, slice cucumber and orange rind
                                                      1 1/2 oz Pimms
                                                      1/2 oz Gin(I use Tanqueray. Your choice however.)
                                                      3/4 fresh lime juice
                                                       3/4 simple syrup
                                                      Shake over ice. Strain into a cocktail glass over ice. Garnish with any of
                                                      the left over fruit.

 I put this recipe up today to just share with everyone the difference in bars and styles of bar tending I've done and continue to learn. Plus its nice, refreshing and has nothing to do with this story. I recently over heard some coworkers talking about how wild things got on New Year's Eve. I was there and don't recall anything but a few drunks having some words. Then a girl past out cold in the floor. I didn't and can not call this a wild night in my opinion. The following is why.
 It was a typical night in the bar( the hotel bar that was kind of like a speakeasy to locals). The hotel was having a function in one of its ballrooms for one the hotel's auditor's uncle whats his face. A bug eyed young guy looking to be in his late twenties came up to the bar and asked me "wheres my girl" and "I'll have my usual". I asked which "girl" he meant and replied "I don't know your usual pal because I ain't ever seen you before." He looked strangely and slient at me with his bulging saucer sized eyes. Our quite standoff lasted a few seconds before he awkwardly laughed and said "I'll take two Jager Bombs." I made his drinks and took his money. He was there with a blonde girl that seemed to be quite and shy. One of the female bar tenders noticed him and mentioned she had known of him in high school. She also brought up the fact he was a slight weirdo who may have accidently shot a friend of his with a shotgun. I can't recall if the friend lived or met his demise. Either way it was a red flag. He moved about the bar without even sipping his drink. He began butting into bar guest's conversations. This was also a night of a big sporting event. Can't remember which exactly. Needless to say the people were drinking, in either celebration or remorse, heavily. A few guests started looking uncomfortable while he was around. A couple others came to us and verbally complained. 

 Bug Eyes wandered over to some guys who really didn't like being bothered. They hung out together, talked sports and generally mind their own business. Bug Eyes was right up in their faces asking them all sorts of questions about themselves. The guys at first were real relaxed about his intrusion and played it off as just some random drunk asshole being just that. May I also say that I really don't think he had anything more than that shot. He spilled more of the shot then he drank. This is where things start turning for the worse. He began claiming to be some sort of Kung-Fu master or something just as absurd. So while the bar began to fill up, Bug Eyes aka David Carradine was throwing out challenges to the 4 or so guys. I suppose that they had enough and one of them took him up on one. I didn't get to see exactly what it was, but apparently it was nothing short of a train wreck for poor ole Bug Eyes. After his utter and complete laughed at failure he left the bar area.

One of the cocktail server girls came up to the bar and told me to get the bouncer that something was going on in the men's room. I was full of a bit more piss and vinegar(mostly piss) back then and decided to investigate myself. The front desk clerk was standing next to, you guessed it, Bug Eyes. He claimed that someone punched him in the face and then broke the large mirror in the men's room. I walked into the restroom to look for the other guy and see the damages. He was right about the mirror, completely trashed. But when I looked for the attacker that just whipped a mirror, bathroom wall and known name in the karate circuit all I found was a frightened teenage boy with his pants undone. I asked if he was ok and what happened. He told me that he was going about his business when a crazy person came in shouting and then there was a crashing noise. I told him not to worry it was alright. Then I peered over and saw a large turd floating in the toilet. Bug Eyes had literally scared the shit out of this poor kid. I advised the kid to flush and go back to wherever he came from. When I walked out Bug Eyes yelled at the teenager saying "Thats him! Thats the bastard!". I looked over at his arm and noticed that his sleeve was covered in sheet rock dust and that his knuckles were bleeding. I told the desk guy to call the cops on the guy. Bug Eyes began his protest. 
  I didn't do anything, man!
  You sure?
   Fuck you prove it!
  Look at your arm dumb ass
 About that time our bouncer, manager and kitchen guy came around the corner. All of these guys where large and intimidating to say the least. Buggy tried to run but the bouncer easily stopped the attempt. It was the first of many more. The police seemed to take an eternity to arrive. In the meantime we got to listen to ramblings about how we are all going to be sued because Bug Eyes isn't only a Do Jo master but also a law student. We couldn't help but laugh and laugh and chuckle some more. Then he got very serious about testing us on how far we could be pushed before we turned him in to a greasy smudge in the carpet. He mainly did this to the manager. Mostly fuck your mama stuff and a few fat pokes. The manager, lets call him O'Malley, took it very well. He was however more then helpfully to the bouncer on being physical to keep him at bay. He just kept belching up stuff about our mothers being whores, fat jokes to the bigger guys and how we were all in huge trouble. I had enough and just told him to shut his stupid stink trap under his nose, in a very nice manner. He lunged towards me and the bouncer, lets call him Vicious(real nickname by the way) or Vic for short, grabbed him up and slammed him back down. I felt truly blessed to have big brothers that could do the actions of most mob enforcers. We also considered ourselves family. I never noticed how it paralleled until later in life. Then O'Malley told me to go wait for the cops so the could be directed straight to us. I walked out the door and there was the city's finest, a small female police officer. I told her what was up and as we rounded the corner Vic and the others were practically wrestling Bug Eyes. Vic being a man of color hoped up pointing to his staff shirt as soon as he saw the lady officer draw her baton. She was a true pro and had the nut job hog tied in a matter of seconds. Other officers arrived shortly. Bug Eyes never really stopped resisting arrest or shouting his credentials of his law school education. The male cops used him as batting practice as soon as the female officer was out of sight. We southerners still have a bit of chivalry in us I guess. I went back to the bar and the other fellas told me the good quotes later. Heres a few:
  "Pre law? After this he'll be pre med".
  "You can't hurt me!" Give me more!"
    "Please don't be too hard on him. Hes my fiancee."
   "Lady, you might want to start looking for another man"
    "That pepper spray ain't shit."
   "Ok,Ok! I'm sorry! I'll quit!"
   I'm sure you can't paint the mental picture of what happened with those. 
  Well folks hope you enjoyed a little piece of my history. Please feel free to comment, positively or negatively. And as always...CHEERS Y'ALL!    .